It’s crazy how the holidays create this paradox: you want to spend connected time being with people you love but the pressures and duties of the season occupy your mind instead. This conflict really jumped out at me after last week’s Thanksgiving meal with my mother and husband. I was feeling good about cooking, dishing out, and cleaning up – a selfless act of service! – but that was keeping me from the deeper connections we all craved more than a second piece of pie. (Or, maybe, craved equally.) I enjoyed our time but left feeling emotionally not quite full. I couldn’t remember sharing anything significant or real, and even my best deep listening practice did not overcome the distractions.

It's well known that stress inhibits your ability to make thoughtful, wise decisions. In the moment of juggling dishes and keeping the dogs off the turkey, I was reacting like a pinball in a pinball machine. The time to create space for genuine connection was in the hours, even days, before the meal and before the pressure set in. My plan for Christmas is to build in breaks between the duties so I can set all that aside, sit down, tune my attention (as Oscar Trimboli puts it), then listen well and be heard.

I know first-hand the treasure of rich, profound connection, with my coaching clients and in my own life. I resolve to make space for this gift with my family and friends. Life is so short and our time with those we love is so fleeting. I resolve to value it.

Cheers,

Melanie

I think we all benefit from being listened to by those close to us, but sometimes it’s important to engage conversations with a professional for being heard at deeper levels and gaining perspective and insight. I recently started offering single sessions to introduce people to coaching and the value of deep listening. It seems askew that people regularly pay for massages to ease physical tension and work out the knots, but shoulder their life choices, goals, and emotional “knots” alone. If you feel like a session would benefit you or someone you know, I’m here.